Oprah made it official. Now we’ve all heard of the Law of Attraction, how having upbeat, happy thoughts creates good things in our lives. “The Secret” is out. If you just pretend you’re ALREADY healthy, wealthy and surrounded by loving relationships, soon enough you will be. It’s a delectable philosophy, because all the change happens first inside our heads (and hearts), where we have quite a bit of control.
Motivational gurus like Norman Vincent Peale have told us this for a long time. I liked reading The Secret. I also really like a book called The Writings of Florence Scovel Shinn. (DeVorss Publications, 1988.) This is a collection of works by a woman who reinvented herself after a divorce. (Shinn wrote from the mid-Twenties to Forties.) The titles of her books capture her message: “The Game of Life,” “Your Word is Your Wand,” “The Power of the Spoken Word,” and “The Secret Door to Success.”
The idea that I can change my world simply by changing how I think and speak is revolutionary. Our culture imbues us with the idea that AFTER we get the big break, after our boat comes in, after a stroke of good luck, then we will be a success and be happy. Or else, we have to work really, really hard, and eventually we will claw our way out of our hardships. Either way, only AFTER the outside world changes will I be happy. Then, of course, the question is, for how long? This is not a stable happiness.
The “secret” says that the catalyst is inside and doesn’t require physical labor. Just a commitment to mental watchfulness and shifting. Be happy now. Then, of course, you’ll always be happy.
I believe this secret, by the way. But it isn’t the whole story. Following that advice, you might be inclined to ignore your problems rather than exhume them and heal them. One reason I wanted to write about Sally Pierone was to study what she did to identify her problems and transform herself into a clear, self-actualized person. Not all therapy leads to that result. If it’s just a rehashing of old hurts, then it can do more harm than good.
Sandra Blakeslee wrote a Sept 19, 2000 piece for the New York Times, “Brain — Updating Machinery May Explain False Memories,” about research showing that every time we exhume a memory, we “update” it with proteins, like a computer revising a file with a new program. That would suggest that we can remake our personal history based on our evolving wisdom and experience. (Scientists are trying this with drugs.)
In my view, this is something Sally has done with her paintings. She unleashes a troubling image, paints it in a new light, and when that old memory pops up again in her mind, she says, “I already handled that.” It no longer drags her down.
Somehow, I like the idea of incorporating both philosophies: First, guiding my mind to notice things to be grateful for and focusing on everyday pleasures, expecting the unfolding of good fortune. And second, allowing deep-seated pain, guilt, and remorse to bubble up, get reprogrammed and laid to rest.
We received an astute response to Sally’s book this week from Dotti Trogdon, who knew Sally in the old days and must have believed that Sally’s happy façade was for real.
Dotti wrote in an email that we captured “the vitality and spunk of Sally on the page in a swift-moving story. The first section of her time in Europe is vivid and enthralling. Now the shadow of her return to Spokane and a wretched marriage looms. Reading it stirs up memories of course and thoughts of our own passages, each individual human story a wonder of highs and lows and endurance. The roles of parents and husbands so problematical… Irrepressible joy bubbles up from Sally’s paintings — even the ones that represent conflict and sadness are painted with such exuberance that anyone would simply cheer her on… Even those who appear confident and ever-upbeat are haunted by inner demons and require the encouragement of friends.”
This last is perhaps the key — to give friendly encouragement to our friends. And to ourselves.
After living for decades in anonymity, Theodora Roosevelt died last month in North Carolina at the age of 88.
